When we say YES to life coaching, we are ultimately saying YES to change. And saying YES to change can be downright scary!
So scary, in fact, that many people never seek out coaching at all.
Whether we like it or not, we often gravitate toward what’s familiar, even when what’s familiar is toxic.This is one reason people raised in dysfunctional family systems may find themselves partnering with people who have similar dysfunctional patterns. We see these patterns play out in the workplace, too.
It’s as if the record is stuck on repeat. Talk about a nightmare!
Saying YES to change means saying YES to the unknown. The unfamiliar. It’s a little like stepping into a haunted house. Perceived monsters jump out at us, leaving us terrified and thrilled all at once. And yet, we keep going back for more!
Whenever we entertain the idea of change, or actually take steps toward it, our gremlins throw massive parties. Gremlins are those voices in our heads that do everything in their power to keep our lives small.
Think of an overprotective parent. The one who discourages you from taking risks because something might happen to you. The intention comes from a place of love. After all, who wants to see their child suffer?
But the impact can be suffocating. Growth gets stunted. Possibilities shrink. And little by little, we learn to play it safe.
Here’s the thing, though. We grow through discomfort. We learn from our mistakes, from taking risks, from falling flat on our faces and finding the courage to get back up again. This is where confidence is born.
So, where do these gremlins come from?
We aren't born with these negative voices. They often take root through our experiences, particularly during childhood, when we are still figuring out who we are and how we fit into the world.
Perhaps your family or culture taught you that artists don't make money. That crying is only for babies. That your intuitive feelings are just too woo-woo.
Maybe someone told you to be quiet because your singing voice was terrible. Or that you were much too loud, too emotional, or too dramatic.
These are the moments when gremlins can begin to take up residence within us. And here's the kicker: We carry these voices into adulthood, often without realizing how much they influence our choices.
Perhaps we never went to art school because we were encouraged to pursue a more conventional, higher-paying profession. Maybe we long for adventure but say no because we're afraid of getting hurt. Perhaps we never audition for the play because we might fail. Or we swallow an uncomfortable truth at work because we're afraid someone will think we're being dramatic.
And just like that, a message from our past becomes a rule for our future. But what if it doesn't have to be that way?
Here's the beautiful news: We can challenge these old narratives. We can loosen the gremlins' grip and begin choosing a different way of living.
Ready to do a little Halloween-inspired gremlin hunting?
Step One: Tune In
Pay attention to your internal dialogue.
What are you saying to yourself when an exciting opportunity appears? When you consider doing something outside your comfort zone? When you want to speak up, take a risk, or try something new? Listen for the familiar voices that say, You can't. You shouldn't. You're not good enough. What will people think? Those voices are clues that a gremlin may be lurking nearby.
Step Two: Get Curious
Does that voice sound familiar?Can you identify a pattern? Does it remind you of something a parent, family member, teacher, coach, or
peer once said? When did you first begin believing this about yourself?
You don't need to blame anyone. Just get curious about where the story began. Sometimes, simply recognizing that a belief isn't necessarily your own truth is enough to loosen its hold.
Step Three: Find It in Your Body
Our emotional experiences can show up physically, too.
When that gremlin starts whispering, pause and notice what's happening in your body. Does your stomach clench? Does your throat tighten? Do your shoulders creep toward your ears? Where do you feel the fear, the doubt, or the urge to retreat? Get curious. Your body may be giving you another clue that something old has been stirred up.
Step Four: Give Your Gremlin a Face!
Now, here's where we get to have some fun.
If your gremlin had a face, a body, and a name, what would it look like? A witch? A skeleton? A blob? An old, smelly teacher with a wagging finger? Give it a personality. Pick out a fabulous costume! The point is to separate yourself from the voice. You are not your gremlin. You are the person who can notice it, question it, and decide whether to listen.
And honestly, some gremlins deserve a really ridiculous costume.
Step Five: Create a Plan to Send It Packing
It's time for an ongoing gremlin exorcism!
When you notice your gremlin showing up, get creative. Perhaps you visualize packing its little suitcase and sending it to a far-off, uninhabited island. Maybe you blast it with silly string, tie it up in your imaginary basement, or flick a rubber band in the air as a playful reminder to interrupt the old pattern.
Whatever works for you! And when the gremlin returns tomorrow? Because some of them are persistent little creatures, you get to
practice again. The goal isn't to never feel fear or self-doubt. It's to stop allowing those feelings to make all your decisions.
Our gremlins aren't necessarily evil. They're often overprotective parts of ourselves, trying to keep us safe using outdated information.
But in protecting us from every possible hurt, they can rob us of the very life we're here to live. And that, my friends, is one scary Halloween trick!
So, this Halloween, pull out the pixie dust. Grab your sorcerer's wand. Put on your most outrageous costume and get ready to meet those gremlins face-to-face.
You don't have to wait until you're fearless to take the next step. You just have to be willing to take it with a little fear riding along.
Because just like entering a haunted house, change can be terrifying and thrilling all at once. And sometimes, on the other side of that fear, there's a whole new world waiting for you.
You were never meant to spend your life hiding from imaginary monsters. You were meant to live, to grow, to explore, to stumble, to rise, and to discover who you are beyond the voices that once held you back.
This Halloween, let the gremlins have their party. You have a life to live.